Ugh, brain fog and general exhaustion really don’t go well with blogging. I’ve been looking back at some of the archives on my old blogs, pre-CFS, and feel so frustrated because I can’t write like that anymore. Writing has always been such a vital thing for me, and it used to come so easily. I never claimed to write like a pro, but I could pull off some decent stuff quite regularly back then. If I do say so myself. 😉
I’ve been trying to think of an easier way to get the thoughts in my head translated to written form, but so far haven’t come up with the magic formula. A new beginning here has certainly bumped the enthusiasm level, but it doesn’t cure the agraphia (inability to find the words for written communication), problems with concentration, or my dyslexic hands. The order of words isn’t jumbled in my thoughts, but they come out jumbled when I attempt to type or write them. Most disconcerting.
I have, however, come up with two ideas to keep the blog from going silent for long spells when the brain is in shut down mode. One is to present the news and views in point form, which I can elaborate on later, on a day when the brain wants to work reasonably well. The other is a bit gimmicky, I suppose, but it will keep some real interaction going with my blog friends … hopefully. 🙂 I’m thinking of sort of a “question of the day” idea, which will relate to something going on around me, something I’ve read, or just something that randomly comes to mind. I’ll show you what I mean at the end of this post.
I do have the ability to roll with the punches and adapt to new situations fairly easily. I’ve just struggled a bit with blogging adaptations as my old writing style was so comfortable and natural. I’ve never had to put much thought into any kind of writing, as words have always flowed naturally. Even essays just poured themselves out of the nib of my pen. Once the outline was done, the rest just seemed to happen on its own. Fortunate, wasn’t I? So, having to really think in order to write is an entirely new concept, and it’s taking a while to find a comfort zone with it. But find it I will. If the ideas already mentioned don’t work, I’ll think of something else. Never fear!
Anyway, on to life from the past few days, presented in point form:
1. All of the planting is done for this year. I had to really push myself with that, and I’m paying for it now, but our weather has been so consistently rainy lately that I had to take advantage of the brief, sunny respites Sunday evening and yesterday afternoon. Thanks to Stephanie for the company and assistance Sunday evening. Transplanting beautiful flowers into my flower beds isn’t a tedious chore, but having good company during the process makes it that much more pleasurable. Of course she kept nagging me to take it easy or I’d pay for it, which was true. But on this occasion, the aftereffects are worth it. Seeing the flowers out there now is such a lift to the spirits. I do appreciate how much she cares about her old mom, though!
2. Stephanie has had some big changes happen over the past few days. First off, she went out the other day for a hair cut, and came home as someone I literally didn’t recognize! I had no idea what she actually had in mind, so opened the door to a “stranger” and it took a few seconds to realize that it was my darling daughter standing there on the step! The new look really, really suits her, and has given her a huge boost. But I still do a double take every time I glance in her direction. I’ll post some pics when she lets me have an “after” shot, so that you can do a double take, too. I will give you a hint for right now, though. She bears a strong resemblance to a young Annie Lennox.
3. The other big change for Stephanie is that she has landed a job and will start on Saturday. She’ll still keep the jewellery thing going, too, but a 20-year-old wants/needs a regular income. I didn’t say anything about it before now, as she has had some let downs and false starts over the past few years. But this time I think it’s going to work out. She’s a CFS sufferer, too, but is doing very, very well now. In the past she bit off more than she could chew job-wise, and had to pack it in quickly, but this time she’s sure that she’s fit for it, and has only committed herself to what she knows she can actually handle. She has been going out more and more over the past several months, so I’m sure that two part-time shifts per week will be quite manageable for her. She’s back at her studies, too, but is doing just one course at a time by correspondence, so that’s still going to be manageable with a job. If she does crash and burn again somewhere down the line, so be it. But at least she’ll have had the satisfaction of really trying to have a “normal” life, which is very important at her age. Fingers crossed that this does work out for her, though. She deserves so much more than a life spent almost entirely at home.
4. Another big change is in the wind, but for all of us, in this case. I won’t get into all of the details here as there will be plenty of time to talk about it in future. But I’ve finally seen the writing on the wall and have agreed that a move to an apartment is a very good idea. The others have been trying to talk me into it for a couple of years, but I dug my heels in at every turn. It just felt too much like admitting defeat, and perhaps I laboured under the false illusion that I’d just wake up one day feeling completely fine again. That isn’t going to happen, and I’ve accepted it now, so I’m all for anything that is going to improve quality of life for all of us. In fact, I’m getting downright excited about the prospect of apartment living again. Sure, I’ll miss my garden to a certain extent, but it’s hard work that I really struggle with now, and that takes a lot of the joy out of it. The planned new location will give me a much fuller life in general, and one that I can enjoy at my own pace, so what’s a garden compared to that? Besides which, the apartment complex we have in mind has huge balconies. Nice and wide, and over 30 feet long on the two-bedroom apartments, so that gives lots of scope for container gardening. Which isn’t hard work. Richard and Stephanie are looking forward to the lifestyle change in a big way, too. It likely won’t happen for a couple of years, but having something to look forward to is a huge boost to the psyche. And, with the way things usually work for us, it’s quite possible that the move will happen earlier than expected. Our life has been full of unexpected surprises, so plans are just general ideas, never carved in stone.
Well, look at that. I guess that the point form idea is going to work, after all! I would have been happy with just short statements, but obviously eliminating the pressure to write at length got the words flowing properly. Funny how that happens, isn’t it?!
Now I need to make my way to the kitchen to throw something together for supper. Stephanie kindly relieved me of kitchen duty for the past few days, while I’ve been busy/tired, but she’s out today and my kitchen fairy seems to be on permanent vacation. Hmph. But I think that I can get away with rustling up something quick and easy, as we have dined so well for the past few days. I don’t often do the recipe thing on my blog, but I have to share one that Stephanie found online and made for us on the weekend. Talk about a keeper! She adapted the recipe a bit, as in using skinless, boneless chicken breasts, rather than a whole cut up chicken, and cutting the sauce recipe in half to suit the smaller amount of meat. Oh, and she also cut the garlic amount way way down, as garlic and my stomach hate each other. But otherwise she followed the recipe to the letter, and whoa, talk about delicious! She has found several good recipes at that site, so do have a look around if you’re looking for something new to add to your own repertoire.
Before I go, I want to say a big thank you for the comments to my first post. I’m so glad that all of you joined me over here, and yes, I think I’m going to be very happy here. Hey, EB, feel free to keep me company if you get the wanderlust again, okay? 🙂
And now I’ll leave you with a question to ponder, in keeping with the idea mentioned above. Assuming that you are about to move from your home because you want to, what is the one thing about it that you would miss most? And what would you miss least? Oops, two questions there, but they’re related.
Until next time …