Why Worry?

My life changed forever on a Valentine’s Day long ago and far away. After nine years of heartache and misery, I finally worked up the courage to try to get away and start a new life for my very young daughter and me. By sheer coincidence, I spent part of that Valentine’s Day in a lawyer’s office, seeking advice on not only a legal separation and eventual divorce, but how to obtain my freedom in the safest way possible. The other party had caught wind of my plans to leave months earlier, thanks to a big mouthed troublemaker at my workplace, and upped the fear stakes greatly, trying to force me to stay. I almost caved in, but then something wonderful revealed itself, which changed everything.

I had worked with a certain gentleman for going on three years and he was also in the process of getting out of a long, unhappy marriage. We always enjoyed working together, and had become good friends over time. But nothing even remotely romantic had ever occurred between us, not even in thought. One magical evening, however, we were working together and sat down to shoot the breeze in a few quiet moments towards the end of our shift. He knew my circumstances, more or less, and was really concerned because the strain was showing in a big way. Not in the way I was doing my job, as I never let down in that regard. But I was looking a heck of a lot older than my then just about to turn twenty-seven years, and was getting more haggard by the day. He simply asked what he could do to help, and it was like the earth’s plates shifted under our feet. To this day we can’t explain what happened in that moment, but everything became so surreal and we each found ourselves saying things that we had never even consciously thought to ourselves.

My situation was so complicated and dangerous, though, that I told him not to even start to get involved with me. My own life, that of my child, and that of anyone with whom I ever became involved in future had been threatened. I was prepared to take the risk myself, as I had so little to lose at that point, and I had to believe that he wouldn’t carry through on his threat to hurt Stephanie, too. But there was no way on earth that I could risk harm coming to another person, because of me. So, I tried to forget what had been said that night, and told Richard to do the same.

Fast forward to that Valentine’s Day again, and the lawyer did a lot to put my mind at ease during my meeting with him. He sort of knew my then husband, and assured me that he could handle him. My lawyer could be an utter terrier when he wanted to be, and I knew that my husband feared him, on reputation alone. So, Mr. Lawyer put the wheels in motion for me that day, phoned my soon to be ex-husband at work, read him the riot act and told him how things were going to be from that point on, whether he liked it or not. Which is not to say that he didn’t carry on doing scary things for quite some time after, but from that point on I had the upper hand and he knew it. As did I, and I never looked back.

I got to work that Valentine’s Day afternoon, after meeting with the lawyer, opened my locker to change into my uniform, and an envelope fell out at my feet. All that it contained was the typed lyrics to a song. But I got the message immediately. And the rest, as they say, is history! 🙂

Why Worry

-by Dire Straits

Baby I see this world has made you sad
Some people can be bad
The things they do, the things they say
But baby I’ll wipe away those bitter tears
I’ll chase away those restless fears
That turn your blue skies into grey

Why worry, there should be laughter after pain
There should be sunshine after rain
These things have always been the same
So why worry now

Baby when I get down I turn to you
And you make sense of what I do
I know it isn’t hard to say
But baby just when this world seems mean and cold
Our love comes shining red and gold
And all the rest is by the way

Why worry, there should be laughter after pain
There should be sunshine after rain
These things have always been the same
So why worry now

Happy Valentine’s Day, Richard, and thank you for being my knight in shining armour all those years ago. And thank you for not taking no for an answer! 🙂 I love you more than words can say!

And a very Happy Valentine’s Day to you, too, my blogging friends! May today be filled with love from beginning to end. xxxooo


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