Greetings, all. I didn’t plan to take an extended break there; it just happened. I fell into a bit of a funk and was completely lost for words. Rather worrying as I’ve been struggling with letter writing, too, and wondered if I had completely lost my ability to communicate by the written word, period. But it was just a temporary writer’s block. Phew! I might be the quiet sort in “real life”, but put a pen in hand, or keyboard in front of me, and off I go, not knowing when to stop. So, when the words don’t come, it’s a catastrophe indeed! Getting back at writing on here is a good start and I’ll see if I still know how to tackle a letter after I finish this. But first things first, of course.
I won’t stray into the realm of too much information here, keeping the sensitivities of my male readers in mind. But the mood in the last post, and the mood in general of late, was of the “female” variety. Blimey! Thought I had that sorted, along with some other “issues”, thanks to the anti-depressants, but obviously a little blip now and then is still possible. But being down in the dumps and moderately annoyed is still a vast improvement over the very convincing she-devil impression, prior to going on the meds. That was getting waaaaay out of hand, thanks to the onset of “reverse puberty”. I didn’t actually throw things or wring anyone’s neck, but the temptation was certainly there often enough. When burning one’s house down seems like the most reasonable way to get rid of dust bunnies and clutter, things are getting a bit drastic. Okay, slight exaggeration there, but only slight. 😉
The other thing making the lower lip stick out and wibble is that I’ve been missing my dad, without realizing it. It finally dawned on me a couple of days ago, but I should have clued in before that. It was painfully obvious the first few years after he died, but I thought I had moved on in more recent years. Well, I have moved on, but not as much as I thought, obviously. Everyone misses a deceased loved one during the Christmas period, but the kicker for me at this time of year is the close proximity of our birthdays. Being only two days apart, they were always celebrated together in my youth, and we kept that going whenever possible into my adult life, too. Even if we weren’t physically together for a celebration some years, we had a silly little phone tradition that kept the feeling of the joint celebration there for us. I miss that. A lot. The absence of it no longer spoils my birthday, but there’s certainly still a feeling of something missing. The first year was bloody awful, and it took a few more before I could look forward to my birthday. Now I do look forward to it, and I cheer up once his day has passed. I don’t get the kicked in the chest, aching heart feeling very often anymore, but I guess I wouldn’t be human if certain occasions didn’t bring it on.
Anyway, I’m fine now, so I’ll leave it there and move on. Happy Birthday for yesterday, Dad. I love you and miss you more than I can say, but our lives have gone on, as you wished. Yesterday I thought about all of the gifts that you gave me, and the longer the list went on, the bigger the smile got. So, don’t worry, there was none of that “snuffling stuff”. Er, not much of it anyway. 🙂
On to other news, I’ve been reading a lot of comments from bloggers and LJ friends about weirdly warm weather in their parts of the world, and their concerns about global warming. Well, I’m not going to deny for a second that the invention of the combustion engine set off a chain of harmful events, but I think we tend to forget that some weather changes are also down to the natural cycles that have occurred on Earth since time began. Sure, it’s a warmer than normal winter in many parts of the world, but we’re more than making up for that here on the Canadian Prairies. Snow aplenty and, as usual, the brutal cold has arrived just in time for my birthday. My birthday week is almost always the worst week of the winter, with the exceptions over my lifetime probably represented by the fingers on one hand. Seriously. Two more storms in the past three days, dumping yet more snow on us, and the temperature tonight is -35 C. That’s real temperature, by the way. Factor in the wind and it feels like -48 C. at present. Yee haw. The high today is to be a balmy -25, with much the same expected for the weekend. And, contrary to the big news headlines the evening before last, this is not our first taste of real winter here on the Prairies. Idiots. I guess that all of the snow in November and December went unnoticed by weather reporters, not to mention a couple of very cold spells before this one. Either that or I imagined the whole thing, but I don’t think I did. Did I? Anyway, yeah, it’s most definitely winter here, so if it’s too warm for you where you are, come on over and help us deal with the latest snow, okay? Just bring your long johns. You’ll need ’em.
Now I’ll shut up here and head on over to my writing desk. Yes, at this hour. I’ve also realized in the past couple of days that I feel much better when I keep my weird, prowl around during the wee hours and sleep until noon routine. Hey, not much else that I do fits the definition of normal human behaviour, so why should my ideal sleeping pattern be any different?! Normal is just so overdone, you know. 😉
‘Nighty night all, and sweet dreams. But no Johnny Depp dreams – those are all mine. If he ever decides to come back in my dreams, of course. I won’t say no a third time, Johnny. Really I won’t! 😉