Good grief, the shrew chef is stalking my blog again. Unless, of course, there’s more than one out there, which is a very disturbing thought indeed. Listen up, culinary deviants, ’cause I’m only going to say this one more time. Shrews of the four-legged kind are cute little creatures that are not for human consumption. Shrews of the two-legged kind are stunningly beautiful creatures with very sharp tongues, and not meant for the stewpots of cannibals. However, we are allowed to stew and garnish you, if you do not cease and desist with the deviant thoughts and behaviour immediately. Understood? I certainly hope so!
Speaking of “interesting” blog hits, someone came here looking for a way to get shrews out of his or her house. Honey, listen, you don’t want to get rid of us. We make perfectly lovely housemates, once you’ve learned all of our little quirks, and have adapted your lifestyle to suit same. If crossed, we can be somewhat, um, shrewish. But treat us nicely and we’re the cuddliest, loveliest creatures imaginable. Truly. You haven’t lived until you have cohabited with a shrew. Trust me.
Continuing with the same theme, the person who came here searching for “recovery time for a complicated dental extraction” is perilously close to being banned for using inappropriate language. I’m sure that this requires no further explanation. I’m not the only one whose eyes water at the mention of the “d” word, am I?
Next up is someone looking to “achieve faerie sight” If you find the answer to that one somewhere else, bud, come back and let me know, okay? It’s now high on the list of my life’s ambitions.
To you who wanted to know “how to treat soggy wall to wall carpet”, I have just one word – disdainfully.
Finally, a very warm, sincere welcome to those who have wandered over here from MySpace. I’m kind of quiet over there yet, but you can always find lots of chattering going on over here.