Couldn’t Have Said It Better Myself

The following appeared in our local newspaper yesterday. Generally I tend to pass right by the horoscopes, advice columns, etc. on a particular page. But this blurb caught my eye and I stopped for a read. I don’t particularly give a toss about Tom Cruise, or his girlfriend. I do, however, get heartily pissed off, just on principle, when I hear about a control freak turning a woman into a Stepford Wife. The particular situation referred to below takes things way, way, way too far.

Why don’t we see how much pain Tom can take before screaming?

Fri Apr 7 2006

Ask Rhona / Rhona Raskin

DEAR RHONA: What do you think about all this Scientology “silent birthing” stuff surrounding Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ baby? Do you think noise could damage newborns and could there be some merit in the idea that a calm delivery might contribute to a healthy child later on?

Look at the mess we are in doing it the other way — gangs, aggressive social behaviour and wars. Maybe they aren’t so crazy to try something new that doesn’t include drugs and howling. — Questioning Status Quo

Dear QSQ: Well, maybe having babies in purple rooms where the extended family dances and sings would crank out better humans. Unlikely, but who knows?

Apparently intelligent people have tried far riskier birthing methods than this. Babymaking makes folks a bit nuts. Perhaps it’s the fear of losing the child; maybe it’s the lure of popping out a perfect specimen.

My sneer at silent birthing comes from looking at the source: men (such as Tom Cruise) who could never be put to the test they’ve devised. When Tom can sit on hot coals for an hour without yelping, he can say what he wants. It’s a control issue expressed in an arrogant and misguided fashion.

As for social problems — there’s a better chance that gangs and aggressive behaviour will diminish when kids actually grow up in homes and communities where people care about them. Rarely does a kid excuse himself from a game of family Scrabble to gun down a rival. Let’s be creative, not crazy.

Right on, Rona.

On a related note, a friend of Stephanie’s recently asked her mother what it felt like to give birth. To which the mother replied, “Like shitting a pineapple. Whole.” Amen, sister.

Hey Tom, there’s a nice big pineapple in my fridge with your name on it. Then we’ll ask you again if Katie is allowed a whimper or two when she gives birth.

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