George Dubya, I know that you’ve been saying it for years, and I’ve refrained from a public tantrum about it all this time. Private rants aplenty, mind you, but I never thought it worth making an issue about to anyone else. But you’ve just said it one too many times now, and the urge to scream out loud can no longer be suppressed. Everyone else cover your ears, ’cause I’m only screaming at him, not you.
IT’S NUCLEAR, YOU MORON, NOT NUCULAR!! GET IT RIGHT!!! IT MATTERS!!!
You might think that such gaffs make you seem all down to earth and, hyuk, like a good ole boy from Texas who connects to good ole boys everywhere. Wrong, you clod. It, hyuk, just makes you look stupid … even to good old boys, hyuk.
Prime Minister Elect, Stephen Harper, I have a bone to pick with you, too. If you’re looking to convince Canadians who didn’t vote for you that they’re wrong in thinking that you’re a cold, calculating, hard-hearted, scary Ice Creature, put a little more thought into your planned photo ops in future. A warm, caring guy doesn’t stiffly shake the hand of his little daughter as he says ta ta to her at the school gate. He doesn’t do it with his only slightly older son, either. Would it kill you to bend over and give a little huggy around the shoulders, or, at the very least, a little affectionate ruffle of the hair? You might be Prime Minister Elect of Canada, but you’re just Dad to those little people. If you can’t put your heart on your sleeve for them, do you think we believe that you’ll do it for us?
There, I feel so much better now and can go about the rest of my day with an air of peace and serenity. Phew!