Everybody say hi to our new Prime Minister, Stephen Harper. Note I didn’t say a warm hi, just hi. Cold mutters or grunts are perfectly acceptable. This is the only time I’m ever going to ask you to acknowledge him, by the way, so get the greeting in while you can.
I’ve turned the TV off as I don’t have the stomach for sitting through his victory speech. It will take awhile to fight off the nausea from just seeing the numbers on the screen throughout the evening. Time to stock up on the Gravol, I think, as no doubt I’ll be needing lots during his occupancy of 24 Sussex Drive.
I suppose that there is some good news, though. He only managed to pull off a minority government, so shouldn’t be able to get away with too much during his hopefully short hold on the top job in the land. Er, second to top job. Last time I checked, the Governor General was still Head of State. But perhaps getting rid of her is on his list of sweeping reforms. Who knows? She is a woman, and a member of a visible minority, after all, and she holds a higher rank … Anyway, he’s going to have to cosy up to the NDP if he wants to pass anything in the House and, if they stay true to their party platform, they should be anti most things that Harper thinks are damned fine ideas. A few “ifs” there, but we’ll see. Of course he could also cosy up to the Bloq, who shouldn’t be his best pals either, but again, we’ll see.
So, basically, I suppose that it could be a lot worse. The only way to get rid of him is to let the country see what he’s really made of, and I’m sure that we’re in for quite a show. The same applies to the thoroughly unlikeable creature from his party who was elected in our own constituency. How she pulled it off for the second time, with a greater majority, is beyond my realm of comprehension. Can’t wait to see what post she gets in his cabinet. Hopefully nothing involving compassion or diplomacy.
As for who will make the cut for senior positions in his cabinet, our country’s leading satirist, Rick Mercer, has made some pretty good guesses over on his blog. Highly qualified, the lot of them. Ugh. As for what will be on the first order of business list for the new cabinet, hmm, let me consult the crystal ball for a second here. Ah, the mists clear …
1. Do their damnedest to get rid of same sex marriage in this country.
2. Recriminalize abortion.
3. Try to get Canada out of the Kyoto agreement.
4. Wangle a long retreat for the entire party at a ranch in Crawford, Texas.
5. Send Canadian troops to fight in Iraq.
6. Wipe out the budget surplus as quickly as possible.
Oops the ball just shattered from overheating. Oh well, that’s a long enough list for starters.
So, off we go into a new era for this great land. Fasten your seatbelts, folks, it could be a bumpy ride.