Still on the celebrity theme, guess who’s scheduled to descend upon our fair city for a movie shoot, ladies. Seven days and counting. Well, many are counting, but not me, really. He’s good-looking and everything, but just not a stalking target in my book. However, I realize that I’m in the minority, so here’s the deal. Hotels are filling up with stalker wannabes at a phenomenal rate and odds of any of you getting a room at this point are rather slim. So, I’m taking reservations for my spare bedroom and, if you don’t mind roughing it a bit, there’s a sofa and loveseat on offer, too. I might even throw in binoculars and act as tour guide for the right price. Oh, and a bib. It wouldn’t do to have the man of your dreams see you with drool all down your front. But just remember, we do have stalking laws in Manitoba and I won’t fork out for your bail or court costs, if arrested.
Reservation requests must be accompanied by a five thousand word “Why I Deserve to Stalk Brad and Why I Deserve Your Splendid Hospitality” essay. Accommodation will be allotted on merit, as judged by hostess. But monetary bribes will be considered.