The Things You See at the Grocery Store Nowadays


The young one and I ventured to the neighbourhood supermarket for a few basic provisions yesterday. When we walked through the doors I noticed a crowd gathered to one side. A quick glance showed me more mullets and red necks than I care to see in one place, especially in this day and age, so I kept walking after a perfunctory glance. But, as I got to the inner door, I heard a voice that stopped me in my tracks and made my head spin on my shoulders.

Way back when, in a former life that seems all so hazy and other worldly now, I was married to someone who was a wrestling fan. You know, all of that so incredibly over the top nonsense that called itself WWF wrestling. He took it very seriously, but I just rolled my eyes at all of the ridiculous posturing and such. Grown men throwing each other around in a ring really isn’t my idea of entertainment, especially when it’s all so obviously fake. However, there were one or two “stars” whom I could tolerate slightly better than the rest of the wrasslin’ rabble. One went on to become Governor of Minnesota (snicker), and the other went on to working in really bad movies and really bad commercials.

So, like I said, I was stopped in my tracks by a “blast from the past” voice today, turned around, and sure enough, I wasn’t dreaming. To paraphrase Rick from Casablanca, “Of all the food joints in all the towns in all the world, he comes into mine.” Weird. Guess the bad movies and bad commercials have dried up, and he’s reduced to standing in piddly supermarkets doing the meet and greet thing. But the money goes to the Children’s Wish Foundation, so at least he’s using his dwindling celebrity constructively these days.

The young one was quite agog and ended up forking over some dosh for a chat and signed photo of the Hulk. Used to be Hulk Hogan back in the day, but now apparently goes by Hulk Hollywood, judging from his signature. She went to meet him while I was doing the shopping, so I’ll just have to take her word about his being a really nice guy and a blast to talk to. I didn’t talk to him myself, even though we literally rubbed shoulders as I left the store. His post was right beside the exit door and I guess he must have been standing too much in the doorway to suit the little old lady leaving ahead of me. She bashed him with her cart and ripped into him about taking up too much space. Imagine if you will, the creature pictured above, taking three steps back when confronted by a 4’10”, 85 lb. , stooped, very aged figure, trembling with indignation. He backed into me as he got out of her way, hence the shoulder rubbing. But I couldn’t even look him in the face as I was fighting so hard to control myself, thanks to the scene that was unfolding. Nice guy or not, it probably wouldn’t do to let go with a good belly laugh, or even a quiet titter in the face of the Hulkster when he’s being humiliated! 😀

But just for the record, he’s not as big and tough as he appeared to be on TV. I expected this eight foot behemoth with arms like redwood tree trunks. Uh, no. He might be six feet, but only just, and really, he’s just built like any guy I’ve seen who makes the gym his favourite hangout. Hunh, another illusion disappears over the horizon with its tailfeathers on fire.

But the young one was impressed, which surprised me in a major way. It doesn’t fit somehow, but hey, to each their own. Just as long as she doesn’t frame the autographed photo and hang it in the livingroom.

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2 thoughts on “The Things You See at the Grocery Store Nowadays

  1. Hi EleanorSome of these little old ladies cam be terrors. One almost took a few of us out coming around a corner in one of those motorised buggy's. She was almost on two wheels and we jumped out of the way just in time. She was stopping for no-one.Linda

  2. You and your workmates should really be given hazard pay for such things, Linda. I feel like I'm taking my life in my hands whenever I go shopping on certain days, so can't imagine what you see on a daily basis at work in a supermarket. There are a couple of seniors complexes a stone's throw from that supermarket, plus a high senior population in general around here. So the place is always crawling with them. I have always had great respect for the older members of the population, but shopping with them changes that perspective a tad. I feel that they've earned certain considerations, but total lack of manners isn't on the list.

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